Saturday 25 July 2009

My Mind















I left home at the tender age of 13 for a variety of reasons. The main reason being, no one in my family took the time out to enquire about my mind. I was misunderstood and judged, according to other minds that knew nothing about the operation of my mind! So many things at that age of 13 plagued my mind, confronted my mind, testing every aspect of its total makeup! I grew up in various children homes, was moved to many foster homes, being introduced and re-introduced to all these strange minds, whose job now was to try and explore and figure out my mind! All of this moving around, to and fro offered me nothing but a false sense of security, rocking the foundation of any inner stability I had built for myself! I craved knowledge, I desired to know the makeup of my mind. This was my deepest enquiry. The question I asked myself, continuously, was “how does my mind work?”

I ended up being transferred from my last children’s home to a children’s home of education (C.H.E), only because my social worker thought I was clever and wanted to offer me the chance to educate my mind. Perfect opportunity!

Up until this point I lived in my mind, everything that governed my life, lived and had its being only in this secret place (my mind). My expressions and most of my actions were distorted. I had no training. I had a raw, volatile and open mind! I was not taught how to express my mind effectively, but I longed to master my mind’s expression in its fullness, in a constructive way rather than destructive.

My thinking and imagination lead me to many places within my own mind, exploring the most darkest areas and also the lightest and brightest places, constantly offering me new opportunities to feel and connect to my emotions, leading me to the discovery of consciousness. The more thinking I did was the more my mind became alive. I was always thinking, yearning to learn and know more about my mind. I always believed in great minds. Positive people always fascinated me and negative people always caused me to question not only my own mind, but also their minds. I needed to find a cure, a cure that would transform a negative mind filled with false beliefs and illusions into a positive mind.

My journey of self discovery started in my mind. I continued to look inwardly.

Why is my favourite question. Without this question, my mind would remain dormant. I asked why a lot growing up as a teenager, I questioned adults all the time, but none seem to be able to quench my seemingly everlasting thirst! I read many books and continued to ask many questions. I was in constant pursuit to decipher the mind and all that made up its whole! I was totally unharmed and ill-equipped to deal with the ever expanding, constantly transforming, vastness of my mind. Sometimes I felt as though I was losing my mind. My inner knowing kept me sane. It was my strength that assisted me with control. My first lesson was learning how to control thoughts, learning how to direct them and re-direct them. I taught myself how to change focus! This new found belief system, started to produce amazing results in my life.

From a very young age, the human mind has always intrigued me. The way people think, process and react to stimulation The mind has always been proven to be a very complex system, sometimes leaving the possessor in disarray! I have always looked at the mind as a living entity, full and conscious, intellectual, manifested as combinations of thoughts, inspired by will and imagination. There is no limit or boundaries to the mind and this is what has caused the great fascination within me to draw closer and deeper to all aspects of its entity. To know my mind was the first step to healing my mind. Most of my challenges in life were caused from a negative and confused mind, a negative and confused mind produced in me, a sick mind!

Now I am 36 and my mind is still learning, yearning to master itself completely. I have come this far, travelled and journeyed on many paths to reach this part of my life. My mind has been my greatest teacher and I have been its most dedicated student! My mind is stable, sure, positive and consciously expanding producing new experiences all the time. I have evolved. I am forever grateful for all of my mind experiences. I am now ready to share my tools. I am ready to help other minds to know the magnitude of its capacity! The mind knows no limits!

I have helped many people, family and friends to explore their minds, helping to guide them inwardly, to reconnect and commune with all parts of their minds, their beings. I have witnessed amazing and breath taking transformation in people lives by sharing all that I have learned over the years. I have volunteered within my community and shared time and space with young teenagers, who are naturally full of a newness of energy, but have no direction to project and utilise their mind in the most productive form! Part of my mission and vision is to extend myself into my community, offering a safe platform, place to explore, experience, question and connect to their minds, which is the greatest tool any human being could ever posses in this life. My life experiences have rewarded me with a greater and deeper sense of empathy!

Dakini Goddess
(aka Ms B.L.U)
Namaste

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